Jay Leno Monologue
Jay Leno: Lot of candidates getting into the Halloween spirit. Today, John Edwards said he was going to get a $15 haircut and go as someone from the other America. ... Even FEMA employees are celebrating Halloween. They’re all getting dressed up as reporters this year. ... FEMA is handling another disaster—its own Public Relations department. This is unbelievable to me! FEMA has apologized for staging a fake news conference on the California wildfires. They had a fake news conference in which FEMA employees pretended to be reporters and asked softball questions to their idiot boss. It was obvious the reporters were FEMA workers because the questions were about the 2003 fire. ... New York Governor Eliot Spitzer has announced that New York will give driver’s licenses to illegal immigrants. So, for the first time ever, a lot of New York City cab drivers will actually have a license. ... Democrats in Congress have announced they will now be taking Fridays off. Apparently, they were getting worried their approval rating was too high.